rating: 5/5
i am so thoroughly shocked to my core that i find it hard to grasp words adequate enough to describe what is undoubtedly donna tartt's magnum opus. i read this over the course of two weeks, mostly regularly, in between classes, sipping cups of coffee or tea, or afterwards in my dorm. it has been one of the best reading experiences i've ever had. god, what a ride. this is not a book that's read, it's lived. it played out so clearly in front of my eyes. in the words of taylor alison swift, it's the greatest movie never made. they're such a fuxxed up little circle of friends codependent on each other, but they stick by their own. blood of the covenant—how the saying goes. henry's suicide was such a rude shock to my system. never in a million years did i expect that particular outcome. when i thought francis had killed himself as well, my heart had a violent fit in which it constricted badly and i weeped. probably should've read the rest of that page before succumbing to my emotions, though. he survived in the end. maybe. i think everyone reached the worst conclusion they possibly could have. it immediately makes me melancholic thinking about them bright and spritely during their heydays at the college, juxtaposed with the state of them a year from that point. such sunny lives, such a dark future. if i ponder on it too long i'm afraid i'll be caught in perpetual grief.
the writing was obviously immaculate. donna tartt is a master of her craft. her way with words, how she stitches sentences together, the imagery she evokes; it's like every letter radiates such being, you know? it's extraordinary.
now, obviously, i must talk about the sheer homoeroticism of richard and henry. no one can sway me from this path. there were just one too many instances that drifted by my eye for me to ignore this reality. call me delusional, but i think from among everyone in the group, richard knew him the best. the other day i told abby i know her before the thought can even escape my subconscious, and i feel like it's the same for them but worse. homosexuality isn't even a hush-hush subtext in this book. it's blatantly right in front of the reader's eyes: francis is gay, richard and him make-out (and probably would've ended up sleeping together had charles not interrupted), and francis and charles have clearly been said to sleep together on multiple occasions. even bunny's homophobic comments are proof of this. all this to say: the text says a lot without saying it. richard and henry have something that is unspoken, that much is clearer than the glass of the closet they're locked in. they never say it out loud because they don't have to. it's all there, whether or not they can see it (i believe richard willingly chose to be blind to the nature of his connection with henry. henry, on the hand, was self-aware enough to know this facet of their relationship, albeit he kept it to himself). henry has always wanted richard to see the best parts of him, and when he ultimately could not follow that whim no longer, he must've realised richard knew him better than he thought he did, and let richard see the rest of him and decide for himself how he would think of henry for the rest of time. and judging by the way richard talks of him so fondly, i believe richard wholly accepted henry for who he was (because ultimately, they're the same brand of fucked-up) and if they'd been given the luxury of time, i have no doubt they'd have been together. and honestly, judging by the ending scene, they're going to be together in the next life (but that may just be my delusion haha).
what else, what else? seeing how the whole group falls apart in bunny's absence, i think he really was the glue holding them together. because if you really think about it, some of the things he said, even if ill-worded and rather contemptuous at times, were actual concerns; like charles' drinking problem, the incest (horribly shocking, by the way), and like any sane person, the murder of the farmer. he had a valid response to the news of his friends murdering someone, even though he went about it really badly. he couldn't have possibly known they'd kill him for it—in the beginning at least. i can't imagine what must've gone through his head when he fell—that heart-stopping moment when he'd been pushed backwards, the faces of those he called friends, and the few seconds of fading life when he'd broken his neck—that paralysing betrayal, and the horror of his darkest fears come to life.
camilla remained an enigma throughout, maybe not due to my own poor comprehension of her character, but because even richard could not truly understand her in the end. i find that a little interesting. he had a good grasp of everyone, but despite loving her, he never really knew her, not the way he did henry, nor anyone. she's surrounded by this odd air of mysticism, her motivations are scarcely clear, if ever, and she's just... there. i'd like to know her story, though. i'm sure i could figure much more of it out on a second read-through. she's obviously been dealt a bad hand, what with the almost nonconsensual incest with charles, and the later abuse, so it's worth piecing more of her character together.
i have no words for charles or francis. they're both pretty well-known to richard so there's not much more to interpret. but francis should've agreed to run away with richard, at the end. they'd've been happier together, i believe. but, oh well.
should say though, richard... is no saint. he's not sane. that's the wrong term, sorry—i meant, he's not normal. i know he frames himself as the most straight out of them all, but really, no normal individual would've stuck to them as closely he did, even after finding out about the battenkill murder, and then aiding them in killing their own friend (birds of a feather flock together). recognising that it was wrong doesn't really shake him. honest to god, he's borderline sociopathic in his apathy. he's intrigued by it all. maybe if not sociopathic, he's psychopathic—somewhere on the spectrum, at least. his grief is only the mirror of other people, not completely his own. him blatantly saying that for a moment there, he wanted to assault camilla—you can imagine how upsetting that was to me.
all this rambling to say, this is definitely an all-time favourite. couldn't love it more.
