📖 ~ Loveless

 rating: 3/5

i think this was my first alice oseman novel. i adore Heartstopper (gave all three seasons a 10/10 which is WILD) so i went into this with decent expectations for the story too. the thing is: i like miss oseman's stories, i just don't like her writing style. by the midpoint of this book i was just not into it anymore. i liked quite a few of the characters, sunil for example, but overall i didn't find this book to be very memorable or compelling. it's just not my cup of tea i think. i do remember being really into rooney and pip's romance tho. that was a very fun enemies to lovers thing they had going on. the chemistry and tension was very good haha. also sunil basically adopting georgia was so sweet. i liked the fact that she had someone to guide her through the experience and be understanding of where she was at.

🎬 ~ Black Bag

 rating: 9.5/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

WHEN I SAY THIS MOVIE IS A MASTERCLASS IN CHEMISTRY !! seriously tho, what did they feed cate blanchett and michael fassbender for them to have that amount of sexual tension. even their body chemistry is so good (they're switches and i KNOW she has pegged him in their marriage). like i NEED what they have bro. and that opening scene was so sexy. the long tracking shot on michael fassbender's back as he moves between settings is such a good way to open a movie and set the pace and tone. it's also literally what goncharov's opening scene was like hehe. polygraph scene was masterful. and just the vibe of this movie man. whoever wrote this script and greenlighted it for production needs to be given a kiss on the mouth. i love love loved this movie. an unexpected pull too coz i never would've seen this if not for free movie monday at uni. i'm glad i experienced this in a theatre. this is the low stakes spy romance drama of my dreams (i want my man to make chana masala for my guests as i get dolled up too).

🎬 ~ Past Lives

 rating: 10/10

we been knew that this movie was going to hurt me but i believe that celine song specifically wrote this movie to hurt me. funny how her and the writer of challengers are married, and both movies are in my top 10 of all time. whoever said this movie is about a love triangle is stupid. no, u daft imbecile, this is so much more than that. it's about meeting the right person but the timing never being right, and when the time is finally right it's too late. it's about already having your right person, but the other right person also being there; it's just that you were not meant to be in this life. this movie is such a nightmare scenario for me. imagine knowing your soulmate but them being out of your reach. "you dream in a language i can't understand. it scares me that there's parts of you i can't go in. i think that's why i've been trying to learn korean, so that i can understand you." KILL ME NOW. "you did that because you're you, and i love you because you're you, and you're someone who leaves." CELINE SONG STOP RN. i genuinely shed tears in the last goodbye scene, where haesung started talking about past lives and that this life was just not theirs. this movie is so special to me. you don't understand. ohmygod. this is beautiful.

🎬 ~ My Fault: London

 rating: 8/10

i hate that i liked this movie. had to drop two points off coz of the step-siblings incest coz EW bro. WHY can't they have changed that aspect. i swear, the chemistry and banter and relationship in general was so good, but they still made them step-siblings. it was the awful elephant in the room every time a good scene happened and i was just left with the all-consuming feeling of wanting to scratch at myself and yell at these stupid kids (who're older than me probably). also guys... asha banks is so hot. like. ohmygod. i spent half the time simping over her she's so good. and the other guy wasn't all that bad actually. it's like they took the spanish version and made it better. it's literally culpa mia but better. this is my brand of trash romantic drama IF ONLY IT WEREN'T STEPCEST UGH. that one singular aspect of the story pisses me off so bad. i remember saying in the beginning that the movie looked so pretty and was so well-shot that it pissed me off that the movie itself was about an incestuous step-sibling relationship ew. anyways enough whining about the stepcest. that red mclaren was so sexy (apologies for thinking it was a lambo at first) that i was genuinely sad that it got destroyed in the end. r.i.p sexy red mclaren u will be missed. also the scene where noah races ronnie was so cool hehe. it had me at the edge of my seat. she ate that.

🎬 ~ Mickey 17

 rating: 8.5/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

oooh boy. just to preface, you should know that i had already planned to see this movie, but a particular set of letterboxd reviews that compared this movie to Challengers (2024) made me go crazy and run to the theatre at my earliest convenience to watch it for myself. did i enjoy it? yes. i did. i desired mickey's loser subby self very, very badly. was it like challengers tho? ... sort of. i wanted mickey 17 to get with that tea girl so bad coz the chemistry in that one scene where they almost kissed was crazy. like bro they could've had a nice polycule going for them. but NOOOOO the tea girl had to be gay for her temporarily dead bestie. i wanted her with mickey bro. ugh. missed opportunity. but this movie was shot insanely well. i loved the cinematography and production designs. robert pattinson's range as an actor is crazy. he NEEDS to win an oscar in his lifetime or it will be the biggest fumble in hollywood history. the plot itself was good but i feel like we fumbled a bit in the third act, which is why i rated it slightly low. but solid movie mr. bong joonho. u ate.

🎬 ~ A Real Pain

 rating: 9.5/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

i am vaguely aware that this isn't exactly jesse eisenberg's directorial debut but he did a wonderful job with the screenplay and direction. i think this may be one of the first times til my now third year of being a so-called cinephile that i've seen such a clear bookend ending in a movie. i love the nuanced characterization of the people in this movie, who feel like actual humans. benji is such a complicated character and i hope he finds his happiness later in his life. the dinner scene at the restaurant was crazy. twas literally like dropping a bomb, like when a vase shatters in an otherwise quiet room. i want to hug benji so bad.  i was also intrigued by the use of blues and reds in their costumes and how they swap by the end. i remember the chilly feeling i got when we stayed on the shots of the gas chamber. the camera captured the haunting quality of it very well. every award that this movie got was deserved. this deserves a rewatch.

🎬 ~ God's Own Country

 rating: 8/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

A QUEER DRAMA WITH A HAPPY ENDING? IN THIS ECONOMY? ngl i was surprised by that, especially considering the fact that josh o'connor's character literally cheated. he was such an asshole in this. i don't know how long their relationship is gonna last post-canon coz they were barely talking. communication is non-existent between them. but i guess they sort of talked it out in the making up scene in the end so maybe they have the capacity to work it out without major divorces. i don't see movies like these very often i.e. original screenplays that're not very well known coz i'm very much a hype train chaser, but i liked it. the british farm life stuff was cool to see and also depressing at times. i would not have the spine to put down a struggling animal who was JUST born. i was sad seeing that. also ass and dicks out is not my type of thing when watching movies. i have an aversion to seeing male body parts on my screen. i'm a prude, i know. anyways, nice movie.

📖 ~ A Monster Calls

 rating: 4.5/5

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

as i said in my goodreads review, this book was the best exploration of grief and death of a parent i've read to death. it was so saddening to explore conor's thinking and his denial about his mom dying, just him waiting for it to be over and feeling guilty for wanting it to be over already. it's a heartwrenchingly beautiful tale and i loved it. the prose, the dialogue, the setting, the gradual escalation, the way his mother's death also affects conor's grandmother: well-done. on a slightly lighter note, harry was so gay like bro u wanted conor so bad fjkdbfkjdf. sorry ik conor put him in the hospital but the potential- okay i'll stop i get it. loved this book. didn't give it a 5 coz my gut was telling me not to and also i read this over a really long period of time due to uni work so that may have mellowed out my experience. i just remember feeling really strong emotions in the beginning. shame that didn't go on for too long coz i stopped reading for a few days.

🎬 ~ Emilia Perez

 rating: 2/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy but i'll try my best to capture what i initially felt about the pieces of media that i consumed in my review.

watched this on my birthday with rachel at her dorm <3 i had hope, okay? i had hope for the first eight or so minutes. and then pre-transition emilia started singing and my hope evaporated faster than water splashed on a hot pan. this is the worst movie to ever grace an awards roster. this movie was an industry experiment. the nominees of every category this movie won in were robbed so horribly it made international news. wicked didn't deserve this treatment. CHALLENGERS didn't deserve this treatment. truly what was this? don't even get me started on the bullshit with karla sofia garcon. i can't comprehend the level of tone-deafness you must be in possession of to not only begin producing this movie, but to go through with it and decide to release it to the world. isn't the director french?? WHY is he making a movie about a cartel boss from mexico? using every mexican stereotype known to man? also selena's musical moment was cringe and unnecessary. it was a weird music video moment with a bad song at that. and "my pu$$y still hurts when i think of you" was EGREGIOUS work like wtf who wrote that. it also got a shocked gasp out of me and rachel tho so i admit it was funny. n e ways ion wanna talk any more about this movie. it was shite and we were dozing through half of it. 

📖 ~ Candide

 rating: 4/5

 i read this book academically for my history class at elmhurst and i'm glad i did coz this book was fucking ridiculous and i loved it. i apologise, voltaire—i was not familiar with your game. the jesus x reader fanfic i read on wattpad has you to thank because this is indeed the original crack fic. this book somehow manages to be absurd while also being educational of the socio-political values of the age of enlightenment. it's a good cerebral read, even though i crammed half of it the day before my 19th birthday because i was behind on the essay i had to write on it which was literally due in one day. can't say i remember much of it anymore except for the ambiguous ending and martin being an icon. i would be glad to reread this book someday. definitely making it required reading if i ever end up teaching an english class in uni.