📖 ~ The Darkness Within Us

 rating: 2/5

oohhh boy. not gonna lie, i actually really vibe with tricia levenseller's writing and the world of this series. the moment i started reading this book, i got the same guilty pleasure feeling of when i was reading The Shadows Between Us. so on that front, i really liked reading this. but man, this book was made for ragebaiting me istg. i would murder eryx and disembowel him if i could. it's not like he committed any wild crimes against humanity in this book (might as well have coz he was so disrespectful to my glorious queen chrysantha), it's just that i hate his specific archetype of character on principle. do i think the IDEA of a hyperfeminine fmc and a hypermasculine mmc sounds interesting? yeah, ofc. but OHMYFUXXIN GOD THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS HERE WAS ATROCIOUS IN THAT ERYX JUST KEPT RUINING CHRYSANTHA'S LIFE THAT SHE WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD. it pissed me off so bad bro. chrysantha should've just gone for the sexy butler kyros coz he treated her sm better than that toxic-masculinity-wannabe-sigma fucker eryx. the only funny thing about eryx was how much of a virgin he was. i do love me some experienced fmc x virgin ahh man. i could not get over how eryx just kept forcing chrysantha into uncomfortable positions tho. one of the kiss scenes in here was sexy asf and i crashed out over it bcoz tricia levenseller's brand of intimacy gets me going. SPEAKING OF WHICH, kallias and alessandra my beloveds holy shitttttt. they're so fkin sexy ugh i love them i want to be with them so bad THEY ARE THE STANDARD!!! 

"For you are my equal in nearly every way and my superior in all the rest."—this was a super sexy line but it was said by eryx of all people and i hate his guts.

🎬 ~ Thunderbolts*

rating: 9.75/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GIVE UP ON MARVEL OHMYGOD. i am so so so so so glad i got to watch this in theatres. for free. it was such a good experience (i understood what they were saying for once... unlike sinners...). the opening sequence with yelena falling off that building and the hallway fight scene with the elongated shadows UGH. SO GOOD. this is one of marvels's best projects. like after No Way Home and Wakanda Forever, this takes the crown for best post-endgame movie. i love when passion shines through on projects and it really did here. this is the first time since loki s2 that an mcu project has had sm heart. 

i only have like, one or two qualms for this movie—one being the new avengers thing which i do not understand, and the second being that taskmaster was killed in 2 mins despite being marketed as being part of the thunderbolts. but i can kinda forgive that coz THIS MOVIE!!!! it gives the same feeling as the first avengers movie, which must've been intentional coz of the parellels it draws in the climatic fight in new york (why tf does every calamity happen in new york. rent should be DOWN by now).

YELENA AND BOB'S CHEMISTRY YESYESYESYESYES. IT WAS SO FHDJJSJD. ATE ATE ATE. idc if they have a romantic arc or not, i'm satisfied with their adorable friendship. also bob was so ripped for no reason lol. 

i love how there was such a big power gap between the thunderbolts and sentry coz that scene in the tower where they fight against him? woah for once i felt actual dread and the thought of "how on earth are y'all going to defeat him". but ig the power of friendship and self-love defeats even ur worst demons. i did cry when yelena cried. that was sad.

in conclusion, i'm a lover of this movie. i will not accept any criticisms. goodbye.

📖 ~ Brokeback Mountain

rating: 5/5

read it in one sitting at the local library hehe. i think i liked the book better than the movie because it just felt right. but i do appreciate how faithful to the source material the movie was. this was probably my first time reading a short story, and i liked the descriptions of the characters. honestly, in a time when being queer was literally illegal, it was a gutsy move to write and publish this. i can see why it won so many awards. i want to read more of this author's work in the future. that's it. that's the review (i don't remember much coz i read this over three months ago).

🎬 ~ Brokeback Mountain

rating: 7.5/10

disclaimer: i'm trying to write down all my reviews after a long time. my memory of things might be shoddy.

well shawty he def broke ur back on that mountain. God's Own Country feels like a spinoff of this movie. glad to finally have seen this milestone in queer cinema. were they both kinda horrible people? yes. was this lowkey tragic? yes. did i feel any empathy for them? no. y'all was weird southern horny men. also i did not know the meme of them kissing while michelle williams watches from the window was from this movie haha. that was how i originally came to know about Challengers. i ended up going to the public library the next day and reading the original short story coz they happened to have it. i liked the short story more than the film, but i appreciated how faithful the adaption was—like literally line to line similarities.

📖 ~ Animal Farm

 rating: 5/5

a horror story disguised as a children's fable. read the whole thing in three hours, glued to the screen of my laptop, and had my head in my hands by the end because ohmygod— THEY NEVER LEARN. this book is so telling of the state of our current world and it was written EIGHTY YEARS AGO. george orwell you would hate living in this point in time. i had such a long discussion with my history professor over this book. this genuinely should be mandatory reading in academia to teach kids about fascism. one of the best books i've ever read. the allegories were just... wow. even on a craft level, it's so wonderfully written and chock-full of symbolism. i admire it so much. maybe those fuckass americans banned this novel coz they knew that if the youth of today read this they would gain consciousness lmao.