🎬 ~ Pride & Prejudice

rating: 9.85/10

(2005 ver.) i was trying to think of why i loved this movie sm when i realised that the romance has a similar feeling to those of queer love stories. it's just the sheer pining and tension and erotic restraint without being overt that makes this romance so compelling. it's also been so long since i've seen a movie with such spectacular lighting like ONGOD THIS IS PERHAPS THE BEST LIT MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. IT'S SO ALIVE AND GOLDEN AND THE SETS ARE TEEMING WITH DETAIL I LOVE IT. the memory of the book was very fresh in my mind so it was pretty cool seeing lines lifted straight from the text being delivered onscreen. it's so fascinating to seeing how adapting a classic into a film works. i felt that the movie was unflinchingly faithful to the text for at least the first half. darcy's first confession scene in the book was hella funny coz he just chucks it at lizzy outta left field, but OHMYGOD the rain scene in this film. MASTERCLASS, AN ABSOLUTE BEAUTY. HOLY SHIT THE DESPERATE WAYS OF A MAN IN LOVE ARE GORGEOUS. AND THE BACK AND FORTH IN THAT SCENE BETWEEN THEM. UGH. UGHHHH. I WANTED TO SCRATCH AT SOMETHING LIKE A WILD ANIMAL. ITS SO PRIMAL. darcy is such a loser in love with her GOD when is it my turn. and then he goes and aurafarms in that climax, walking towards her in that slutty half unbuttoned shirt at dawn, like the icon that he is. "and how are you this evening, mrs. darcy?" MURDERED ME CHOPPED ME INTO PIECES I WANTED TO ROLL AROUND MY BED AND KICK MY FEET LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL AHHH. anyways my only criticisms were the way the plot deviated from the source text in the second half, sometimes in ways that were jarring. i don't wanna dwell on it tho. i loved watching this. 

🎬 ~ Fantastic Mr. Fox

rating: 6/10

i didn’t write a review for this film. let me amend that. so. i was not as wowed as i expected to be. of the three wes anderson films i’ve seen, this is the weakest entry for me personally. the stop-motion is amazing—i’d like to know the process behind creating such great visuals. but the story felt generic to me. i’m sorry for it because i really did want to like this a lot. i have no other specific criticism i’d like to lay out. maybe if i rewatch it sometime with newer eyes, i migbt like it more. adieu.

🎬 ~ The Darjeeling Limited

rating: 7.5/10

watching this on india's 80th independence day was... something. anderson captures india through such a native lens. i haven't watched a satyajit ray movie til date but the style of film just felt like something ray would cook. the visuals are just so reminiscent of indian filmmaking; i have to applaud wes anderson for embodying it while still infusing the direction with his signature directing style. this was my third anderson film, the first two being The Grand Budapest Hotel (top 10 of all time) and The Phoenician Scheme (hilariously done), but Darjeeling Limited is so vastly different from the other two. the first two have a lot of usage of stationary framing and shots; they feel very much like flipping through a vibrant picture book. but DLtd. is so much fuller. it's three-dimensional and utilizes its environment, here being india, to the fullest it can. i can't remember if the aspect ratio of the former two movies was vertically wider but this is again different. i could just go on and on about the visuals of this movie. even the cinematography is phenomenal and wonderfully dynamic.

and then there's the story. three sort-of estranged brothers on a journey through india trying to deal with the death of their father and the absence of their mother, very interesting. though i can't say i resonated much with it. the characters definitely feel fully realized, that's the best thing about them. francis is the mildly infuriating, micromanaging eldest (severe mommy issues, this one), peter is the almost normal middle child who's still grieving his father who died in his arms (probably scared of having a son and messing him up, which is why he doesn't tell alice he's going to india a month before she's due), and then there's jack, the youngest who's desperate for love and connection (it's smoke through his fingers with the women in his life). one of the last scenes where they throw their father's baggage, that they'd been carrying around all throughout their journey, to get on a train to go home—that was transcendent, an absolute marvel of a visual motif.

irrfan khan's appearance in this movie was surprising, but welcome. somehow the indians with speaking lines in this movie spoke with a perfect american accent lol. sweet lime girl was so cool. i love that the steward on the DLtd. kept the poisonous snake haha. why did peter even buy it in the first place. speaking of, the brothers were moving through india like they were born there, like damn white boy u graduating from gora pakora to chhole bhature soon. aaand i think i don't got much more to say now. there was a natalie portman jumpscare at the end.

🎬 ~ The Sheep Detectives

rating: 4.25/10

the more i think about it, the less i like this movie. like everyone, i was pretty surprised at the positive, and rather emotional reception that this movie was getting. i mean, c'mon. a whodunnit with CGI sheep as the detectives? ridiculous. a big-budget slopshow starring a-listers at first glance. and after watching the whole movie... i can't say my opinion has changed much. the screenplay has some good ideas and themes about memory and grief, but the sheer absurd nature of the plot doesn't allow that idea to be sufficiently executed. the cast probably had a lot of fun doing this project; it's the exact type of low-stakes project you can just clock into to have fun and leave at the end of the day. not to say that low-stakes projects don't have value, because this definitely has SOME. what i'm trying to say is that i just didn't care about this movie.

aside from the critical aspect, they killed my dawg (not dog) sebastian. poor dude. GEORGE THE LAMB IS A BABY ILOVETHATCHILD I WAS GOING TO KILL EVERY SHEEP IN THERE FOR OSTRACISING HIM. nicholas galitzine is the killer in this movie and it's funny how his first instinct is to gaslight the police officer when he's called out at the end. can't believe he was larping as a wannabe reporter. but he also talks on the phone to someone about how he's excited to cover a small-town murder mystery so like, WHO WAS HE TALKING TO? and police officer dude learning to solve the crime coz of a agatha christie ass novel that the sheep put him on: wild. this movie is just pure tomfoolery man. what even.

🎬 ~ Heartstopper Forever

rating: 7/10

finally got the balls to watch the finale because i wanted something gay and remembered i had download this. it wasn't that great. i mean, the movie was very heartstopper, but it sort of felt more like an extended epilogue after the first three seasons. i think the pivot to a film format didn't allow the story to simmer and close out all the characters' chapters properly, except maybe nick and charlie, but even then it wasn't as good as it could've been. i loved seeing a different side of nick and how his codependency on charlie affects him on an individual level. we got a sure glimpse of that in season three as well and this movie's first half does a good job of showing us his anxiety surrounding his perception of himself. but due to the super short runtime, we aren't allowed to stay in that personal conflict before we have to shift to the problem it makes between him and charlie. i enjoyed watched this movie, it was a nice goodbye to my beloveds, but i wish we got a whole season instead. tao and elle's story was so completely sidelined here, like dude they had sm potential to be explored but they got horribly vagued in this movie. their dynamic interests me sm coz as a person with two functioning eyes and a brain i can tell they're soulmates frfr coz they just GET each other but also because they're both such strong personalities it also puts them at odds with each other. they'll always love each other, no matter the state of their relationship, AND THAT IS SOSOSOSOSO FASCINATING TO SEE BUT NETFLIX HATES THEM. and we also vagued tara and darcy. what is happening w them? why r they just randomly going interrailing? huh? tori's the only one, and maybe isaac, who felt like they had a nicely tied ending with a cute now. wish we explored more of isaac's experience w asexuality tho? UGH THERE'S SM THAT COULD'VE BEEN DONEEEEE. THEY SHOULD PUT ISAAC IN AN ADAPTATION OF LOVELESS. 

in other thoughts, i love mr. ajayi and mr. farouk. charlie as head boy is peak. nick nelson switch!bottom healed something in me. i am heavily attracted to kit connor in all ways. i want to kiss charlie spring as a boy (as in me. i am a boy). that baby queer at truham named ALFIE is ME BRO. for a second there when charlie says "hi alfie i'm charlie" I COULD'VE SWORN IT SOUNDED LIKE ALFIA I WAS TWEAKING YALL. anyways goodbye to my goat comfort story of all time. i love you forever.

🎬 ~ Leviticus

rating: 10/10

i fw this movie so hard bro. i was having such a shitty day so i went "ykw lemme watch this queer horror movie". hana said the horror element wasn't that pronounced, so i felt more comfortable watching it on my own despite being jumped two times lol. i loved the small-town vibe of this film. it made me realise that i watch movies that take place in a busy city setting or in a pretty populated environment, so the sparseness of this town they were in made the space more intimate. i know this movie is australian but the aesthetics of this movie are so midwest grunge/emo i loved it. i think i like neon's productions too. i haven't watched many but i liked this one as well as anora (despite its polarising reception). i love queer stories that deal with religious guilt and internalised homophobia and this story delivers on both ends. the main duo give such good performances—i was so immersed i wasn't even judging their acting by a time. also somewhere around the midway point of this movie, i found myself desperately wishing for a happy ending instead of a tragic death. i was genuinely rooting for these two, man. the narrative is so good at presenting homophobia; the entity is quite literally a manifestation of that, something they desire the most but also what they end up learning to fear. and isn't that an interesting thought: that fear is learned? the church deadass CREATES that fear, exemplifies it even, when it didn't even exist to that degree before. ryan's weird throwing shit foreplay with the other brunette dude and making out with him was weird, like why are u getting with another guy when u like naim, but he's also an interesting character because we don't really see the story from his pov, which makes his part of the narrative very mysteriously interesting to me. i don't think we ever see his home situation, his feelings for naim run evidently deep, and he's such an expressive guy while still being a somewhat closed book. AND NAIM. lol the first thing he did when he found out his situationship was cheating on him was out his ass. like, why. what was he hoping to achieve from that. a form of petty revenge maybe, but perhaps he was giving into his own homophobia in a way too, albeit misguided. this movie is so beautifully intimate. true spiritual sibling to The Summer Hikaru Died bro. i'm so glad it had a good ending. speaking of, naim's mother is a right bitch. that selfish fuck. i hate her sm. KNOWINGLY doing that to your own child? not giving af when he's literally terrified and trying to ask you to help him? i'm so glad naim left her at the end. she was the one who gave him up to that dude to be cursed w that shit. ALSO FUCK THAT COUNSELOR FOR OUTING NAIM. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY MY ASS THAT WOMAN IS A DISGRACE TO THE PROFESSION AND SHOULD BE IMPRISONED.

📺 ~ Beef (Season 1)

rating: 7/10

man, i was kinda hoping to like this more. i think my expectations were just too through the roof coz of how this season sweeped the limited series category during its awards season. steven yeun and ali wong deliver great performances for sure, but the plot felt a little boring imo. i mean, it's funny how a simple road rage incident snowballs into the main leads being petty asf about it and trying to get revenge for it on each other and then somehow ending with falling off a cliff and bonding by the end, but i was left wanting for more somehow, not in a "oh i want more of danny and amy!" way but in a "man i wish this were written a little more strongly" way. it has a subtle exploration of depression of things constantly feelings like they're going wrong in your life, and even when they go right it's always like u're waiting for the other shoe to drop. i found it fascinating how danny and amy were the ones who would've understood each other the most but couldn't get past their petty hatred quick enough to do it. they have empathy for each other but keep poking each other with sticks and taking it to the extremes to get back at each other lol. i liked the last frame of the season. them quite literally embracing each other was beautiful. i don't got much more to say man. not very strong feelings about this one.

🎬 ~ Spider-Man: Brand New Day

rating: 8.9/10

that rating is going to raise some eyebrows but okay wait. LISTEN. i just got out of the theatre maybe an hour or so ago. here are my initial thoughts. this movie? debatably the best fucking spiderman film to date. i didn't give much of a fuck about the raimi trilogy, tasm has a special place in my heard and is massively underrated BUT THIS? THIS IS PETER PARKER. THIS IS SPIDER-MAN. I LOVE HIM SM I JUST FJDKFK AHHHHHHHHH. okay okay okay running thoughts from the movie. first of all, bisexual peter parker acknowledgement. yelena clocked his ass and i loved the nod coz peter has BEEN bi-coded for SO LONG but i heard they cannot legally make him queer (assholes) SO EVEN THIS LIL COMMENT FROM MY QUEEN YELENA ASKING HIM IF HAD A GIRLFRIEND OR A BOYFRIEND WAS SO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. yes pls. also his lil tank top and juicy couture moment really sold it lmfao. tom holland had the craziest body in this movie (i mean this respectfully. that is mr. zendaya). AND MJ!!! dude that moment where jean possesses her was so devious. absolute violation. zendaya channelled her inner tashi duncan for that scene lmfao i love her being evil. and peter and MJ. OH GOD HER TELLING HIM SHE DIDN'T LOVE HIM COZ SHE DIDN'T KNOW HIM I WAS DYYINGGGG I WAS LITERALLY CLUTCHING MY MOUTH ONG HFJDJFJF. honestly i respect that decision sm coz i was lowkey afraid they'd pull a raimi mary-jane watson and make her cheat on her alr existing boyfriend in that moment SO THIS WAS TECHNICALLY THE BEST CASE SCENARIO?? i'm just glad peter acknowledged that HIM as a person, as PETER FKIN PARKER, had value too and deserved to live a life as well. the way he supresses himself as peter, refusing to acknowledge that side of him and always being locked into being Spider-Man, spending YEARS that way: it was sad. i mean, it kinda looked like he was having fun but in a lonely way. like how i live. umm. k. sadie my wife was great. this movie basically soft-launched the x-men. she was rumoured to be jean grey and lo and behold. YES. this is, visually, the BEST LOOKING SPIDER-MAN MOVIE. the direction by destin daniel cretton was absolutely phenomenal. i knew he'd delivery after i had seen Wonder Man AND HE DID IT SO WELL. the spidey swinging scenes in the beginning, the POV WHILE SWINGING, THE WAY THIS MOVIE PORTRAYS NEW YORK CITY AS A LIVING BREATHING BEING, SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!! i'll add other stuff if i remember it but here are my criticisms. The Punisher. why was we here dawg. frank's character wasn't written well. he's not a chatty guy and he's not this lighthearted banter guy either. he becomes sort of the comedic relief part of the movie. it's easily the weakest part of this film. and why is scorpion part of the sinister six if he's so easy to beat? dude was doin nothing. then again, not everyone can be doc ock and green goblin. LISA COLON-ZAYAS WAS IN THIS MOVIE!!!! either i forgot or genuinely didn't know she'd be in this. i almost gasped THE BEAR!! when she appeared. also the villain aspect of this movie was kinda meh. tramell tillman could've been utilised more. and I need to re-watch this movie to get a solid grasp of sink's performance as jean grey. this actually was a pretty character driven movie, the MOST character driven plot in the entire tom holland quad rn. bitch i just fucking loved this. it had its problems BUT I FUCKIN LOOOOVEEEE. my mother may also made an appearance in this mwah mwah i missed her. anyways yea. 8.9 rating BUT i love this WAY FKIN MORE over nwh. BITCH I FORGOT TO MENTION: SM OF THIS MOVIE WAS REMINISCENT OF THE INSOMNIAC GAMES THAT WAS COOL ASF ESP IN THE ACTION AND FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY W THE COMBOS AND ALL.